Archive for January, 2010

a prayer answered
January 16, 2010

God so graciously answered my prayer for a natural miscarriage. I felt He said, “wait.” It looked as if I’d missed Him, as today was the deadline for allowing this to all happen on it’s own according to my Dr. whom I love and trust. I went in for another sonar for reassurance, and found that God had already taken care of all of this without me even knowing. He is good. He is faithful even in life’s difficulties. He DOES hear our prayers. He is the God who sees. He is the God who answers. He is the God who knows what’s best for me. Lord, help me trust you more. Help me love you more. Fill me up with yourself!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!
January 4, 2010

2 Corinthians5:17 says, “If any man be in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

I like many of you have some New Years resolutions. I want to be a more respectful and loving wife this year. I want to spend more time enjoying the 5 blessings God has given me in my children instead of so much time focusing on that 6th child I so long for. I want to stay on my schedule more, get more accomplished in a day. I want to be more obedient to  the Lord, especially in being a more bold witness for Him. I want to spend more time in prayer each day. I want our family to serve more together, be more outward focused and less inward. Philippians 4:19 say’s, “I CAN do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST who gives me strength.” If it’s in His will, I can do it!  When I fail, He’s there to forgive. I am SO thankful for His unconditional love for me, his daughter. It’s there for you too!

another loss
January 4, 2010

A little over 2 wks. ago, we found out we we’re expecting again. I was VERY excited, yet a little anxious as well, maybe a little more so b/c of the early miscarriage we suffered back in May. Because of me having a previous miscarriage, the Dr. was watching me VERY carefully. I was going in to have my hcg levels checked every other day, to see if they we’re doubling as they we’re supposed to. All was going well when they compared my levels the day before Christmas Eve.  However, when I went back after Christmas they we’re not nearly as high as they should have been. In the past week, it has become clear that this pregnancy too would end in miscarriage, apart from a miracle from God. God has given me great peace, not that I don’t have my moments mind you. He’s teaching me to trust Him more than ever, to believe Him, even when it looks as if His promises won’t be fulfilled, to worship Him alone, and realize that He is enough. I want to honor Him in my response to all of this  and to bring Him glory. I want to trust Him with ALL my heart. I will not deny the pain that this has brought me. It is real!  It hurts! It’s so great to know that life is truly in the hands of God. I can trust His heart when I cannot see HIs hand. I am still awaiting closure with all of this, waiting to miscarry.” God is teaching me that truly His grace is sufficient, and His power is  made perfect in my weakness.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”

A promise He’s given me:

“I WILL turn their mourning into gladness; I WILL give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

Jeremiah 31:13

Christmas 2009
January 4, 2010

Kevin does something creative and special for me every yr. for Christmas from the kids. The first yr. it was a dvd with the kids pics to the song, “Don’t give up.” Last yr. he made a book titled, “The Smallones,” with the kids pics, and this yr, Kevin decorated a wall in my living room with a beautiful frame that had the kids pics, along with 4 scripture plaques surrounding. It was just beautiful! The picture does not do it justice. I also got a worship dvd,” Created to he His Helpmeet,” by Debi Pearl and the companion journal. BTW, this is an awesome book that is much needed in the church today. It will step all over your pretty little toes, but it is truth! And obedience brings blessing!  I tried to put more focus with the kids this yr. on Christmas being Jesus b-day vs. when we get presents. Before we opened 1 gift, we read the Christmas story of the birth of Christ. We also started another new tradition. We opened gifts from youngest to oldest. This required much patience for the older kids, but they did great. I think everyone enjoyed watching every body else get their gifts, instead of just thinking about what they got. I hope to do more next yr. to put more of Christ in Christmas. I think we really miss the boat on that! Christmas to me is that Jesus came to be with us in all of life’s circumstances, whether joyful or sorrowful. He came and lived a life like us, so He understands all we go through, and one of these days we’ll be out of here, and enjoying being in His presence forever and ever. No more sorrow  or pain. I look forward to that day!

Rachel is 5!
January 4, 2010

My little Rachel turned 5 on December 11th. She is sweet and spunky. She tends to be extreme, whatever she’s feeling at the moment. If she’s happy, she’s REALLY  happy, if she’s mad, she’s REALLY mad, If she’s sweet, she’s REALLY sweet.  God and I are working on some of these extremes with little Rachel. I am SO thankful for Rachel. She IS a blessing. She came after a VERY LONG wait. There we’re 41/2 yrs. between Dani and her, so I was just busting for another. God was SO gracious to give me Rachel. I DID NOT wait patiently as He would’ve wanted, but He blessed me anyway. God is SO good. He DOES discipline us when we are not obedient, but HE doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve. What a good and gracious God we serve! I love you Rachel Hope. You are the fulfillment of my hope for a 4th child!

Build a Bear!
January 4, 2010

Thanks Jason and Brandi for getting the kids the gift cards! They had a blast! This was Elizabeth’s 1st Build a Bear, and as you can see, she enjoyed herself much!